Writing an obituary is one of the hardest tasks you will face after a loss. How do you summarize a whole life in just a few paragraphs? How do you find the right words when you are grieving?
An obituary is more than just a death notice. It is a public announcement, a historical record, and a final tribute. It tells the world that your loved one was here, that they mattered, and that they will be missed.
This guide will walk you through the process step by step. We will show you the standard format, provide free templates you can use right now, and break down the costs so you can decide where to publish it.
What Is the Difference Between an Obituary and a Eulogy?
People often use these words interchangeably, but they are different.
- An Obituary is a written announcement published in a newspaper or online. It is for the general public. It announces the death and gives details about the funeral service.
- A Eulogy is a speech delivered at the funeral or memorial service. It is spoken to a room of family and friends.
You will likely need both. If you are struggling with the speech, read our guide on How to Write a Eulogy. For now, let us focus on the written obituary.
The Standard Obituary Formula
Most obituaries follow a predictable structure. You do not have to be a professional writer to do this. Just follow this six-part formula.
Part 1: The Announcement
Start with the basics. This is the who, what, when, and where.
- Full legal name (and any nicknames they were known by)
- Age
- City and state they lived in
- Date and place of death
- A brief phrase about how they passed (for example, "passed away peacefully at home surrounded by family" or "died unexpectedly")
Part 2: Early Life
This is where you tell their story.
- Date and place of birth
- Names of their parents
- Where they grew up
- Where they went to school
- Military service (if applicable)
- Date of marriage and spouse's name
Part 3: Career and Passions
What did they do with their time? What did they love?
- Their career or profession
- Volunteer work or community involvement
- Hobbies, passions, and interests
- Memberships in clubs, churches, or organizations
Part 4: Survived By
This is a list of the people who are still living. It is important to get this right.
- Spouse or partner
- Children (list them by name)
- Grandchildren (you can list names or just the number)
- Siblings
- Close friends or extended family
Part 5: Predeceased By
This is a list of the important people who passed away before them.
- Parents
- Spouse or partner
- Children
- Siblings
Part 6: Service Information
Where and when should people gather?
- Date, time, and location of the visitation or viewing
- Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service
- Burial location
- Reception details (if any)
- Where to send flowers or memorial donations
Free Obituary Templates
Here are two templates you can copy and paste right now. Fill in the brackets with your loved one's information.
Template 1: Traditional Obituary
[Full Name], [Age], of [City, State], passed away peacefully on [Date] at [Location].
Born on [Date] in [City, State], [Name] was the son/daughter of [Parents' Names]. [He/She] graduated from [School Name] and went on to work as a [Job Title] at [Company Name] for [Number] years.
[Name] was a dedicated member of [Church/Organization] and loved [Hobby/Passion]. [He/She] will be remembered for [Short Tribute].
[Name] is survived by [Spouse's Name], [Children's Names], [Grandchildren], and [Siblings]. [He/She] was predeceased by [Names of Deceased Family Members].
A visitation will be held on [Date] from [Time] at [Funeral Home Name]. A funeral service will follow on [Date] at [Time] at [Church/Chapel Name]. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [Charity Name].
Template 2: Modern and Personal Obituary
With heavy hearts, we announce the passing of [Full Name], who left us on [Date] at the age of [Age].
[Name] was born in [City, State] to [Parents' Names]. [He/She] spent [Number] years doing what [he/she] loved most: [Hobby/Career]. If you knew [Name], you knew [His/Her] love for [Specific Passion, e.g., fishing, baking, the Dallas Cowboys].
[He/She] leaves behind [His/Her] beloved [Spouse/Partner], [Name], and [His/Her] children, [Names]. [He/She] was welcomed into heaven by [Names of Deceased Loved Ones].
A celebration of life will be held at [Location] on [Date] at [Time]. Come as you are, wear [Favorite Color], and bring your favorite memory of [Name]. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to [Charity Name].
What to Avoid: A Checklist for Families
Writing an obituary is emotional. It is easy to make a mistake when you are grieving. Here is a checklist of things to avoid so you do not create problems for yourself or your family later.
1. Avoid Sharing Sensitive Personal Information
Scammers read obituaries every single day. They look for details they can use to steal the deceased person's identity or target the family. Do not include:
- The deceased person's full home address
- Their mother's maiden name
- Their exact date of birth (just the year is usually enough)
- Their social security number
- Any financial account information
If you want to include a home address for sending flowers, use the funeral home's address instead. Protect your family's privacy.
2. Avoid Mentioning the Cause of Death (Unless You Want To)
You are not required to say how someone died. Newspapers and online platforms do not require it. If the death was sudden or traumatic, you do not have to share the details. You can simply say "passed away unexpectedly" or "died peacefully at home."
If the death involved suicide, overdose, or a stigmatized illness, think carefully before publishing it. Some families choose to share this information to raise awareness or reduce stigma. That is a valid choice. But it is also a valid choice to keep it private. Do not let anyone pressure you into sharing more than you are comfortable with.
3. Avoid Airbrushing Family Drama
Families are complicated. Not everyone gets along. If there is an estranged child, a divorce, or a family feud, do not feel obligated to pretend everything was perfect. But you also do not need to air dirty laundry in a public notice.
If you are unsure how to handle a complicated family situation, keep it simple. List the immediate family members who are actively involved in the service. You do not have to list everyone. If someone is upset they were left out, they can address that with the family privately, not in the newspaper.
4. Avoid Being Too Vague
"He loved life and will be missed" is a nice sentiment, but it does not tell anyone who this person really was.
Specific details make an obituary memorable. Instead of saying "he loved the outdoors," say "he spent every summer teaching his grandchildren how to fish at Lake Michigan." Instead of "she was a great cook," say "her lasagna was legendary at every family gathering." Specific stories and details are what make people smile through their tears. They are worth the extra effort.
5. Avoid Getting Names and Dates Wrong
This is a permanent record. Once it is published, you cannot easily take it back.
- Double check the spelling of every single name, especially unusual ones.
- Verify the dates of birth, marriage, and death.
- Make sure the names of surviving family members are spelled correctly and their relationships are accurate (son vs. stepson, sister vs. sister-in-law).
- Ask a trusted family member to proofread the entire obituary before you submit it.
6. Avoid Blowing Your Budget
Newspapers charge by the word, by the line, or by the column inch. A long, detailed obituary in a major newspaper can cost over $1,000.
Before you write, call the newspaper and ask for their rates. Ask if there is a charge for including a photo. Ask if there are different rates for weekdays versus weekends. If the cost is too high, consider publishing a shorter version in the newspaper and a longer, full version on the funeral home's website or a free online platform.
7. Avoid Forgetting the Service Details
The primary purpose of an obituary is to tell people where and when to gather. Do not leave out:
- The date of the visitation or viewing
- The time and location of the funeral or memorial service
- The burial location
- Where to send flowers or donations
If you forget these details, people will call you to ask. Save yourself the stress and double check the information before you publish.
8. Avoid Using AI to Write the Whole Thing
AI tools can help you get started. They can give you a structure to follow. But they cannot capture the unique personality of your loved one. An obituary written entirely by AI will sound generic and robotic. It will use phrases that do not mean anything.
Use AI as a brainstorming tool if you are stuck. But write the final version yourself, or with the help of a family member who knew the person well. Your authentic words will always be better than a machine's.
9. Avoid Rushing the Final Draft
You will be eager to get this done. But do not submit the obituary the same day you write it. Write a draft. Walk away from it for a few hours. Come back and read it out loud. You will catch mistakes you missed the first time. You will also hear how it sounds and whether it truly captures the person you loved.
10. Avoid Forgetting to Save a Copy
Before you submit the obituary to a newspaper or website, save a copy for yourself. Print it out. Save it as a PDF. Newspapers archive old editions, but it can be hard to find them years later. Your family will want to look back on this tribute in the future. Keep your own record of it.
Newspaper vs. Online: The Cost Breakdown
You do not have to publish an obituary in a newspaper. In fact, many families are choosing to skip the newspaper entirely because of the cost. Here is what you need to know.
The Newspaper Route
Publishing in a local newspaper can be expensive. Newspapers charge by the word, by the line, or by the column inch.
- Small local papers: $50 to $150
- Mid-size city papers: $200 to $600
- Major national papers (like The New York Times): $1,000 to $3,000 or more
If you publish in a newspaper, you are paying for the print space. You also have to follow their formatting rules. They may edit your obituary or charge extra for a photo.
The Online Route
Most funeral homes now have online obituary pages. These are usually free or included in the funeral package. You can also publish on legacy websites, social media, or a personal family website.
- Funeral home website: Usually free
- Online legacy sites: $50 to $200
- Social media (Facebook, etc.): Free
- Personal website: Free (if you already have one)
Online obituaries have a major advantage. They can be shared with anyone in the world. Friends and family can leave comments, share memories, and read the tribute from anywhere.
Conclusion
Writing an obituary is a final act of love. It does not have to be perfect. It just has to be true. Start with the facts, fill in the stories, and do not be afraid to ask a family member to help you proofread.
If you are planning the service, our guide on Understanding Funeral Costs will help you navigate the expenses. And if you are writing the speech, do not miss our guide on How to Write a Eulogy.
Helpful Resources on Our Site
- How to Write a Eulogy (With Templates) A companion guide for the spoken tribute at the service.
- Understanding Funeral Costs How to budget for the funeral, burial, and obituary costs.
- Death Certificates: The Essential Guide You will need certified copies to publish the obituary and claim benefits.
Disclaimer: This content is provided for informational purposes only. Costs and newspaper policies vary by location. Contact your local funeral home or newspaper for specific pricing.